Ode to a Mattress Topper

It is almost 7 pm on Saturday, and I have been singularly unproductive, even by my standards.

The culprit? A two inch thick memory foam mattress topper.

I put it on my bed last night, with clean jersey sheets, my cotton blanket and a quilt. That sound you heard was the clouds parting and an angel choir singing of the glory that is my bed.

The only thing I like more than lying around in bed watching football on TV is getting a bargain, and the topper was definitely a bargain. I got it 75% off at Linens and Things, and used a 20% coupon. Sometimes the planets just align. So, for the bargain price of $28, I will never get out of bed again. Can I get an "Amen"?

I was afraid that the additional two inches would cause trouble with my sheets and everyone's favorite brown dog, but the sheets stretched, and SGBD cleared it with ease. She seems to be as enamored of the topper as I am. I had to wake her up at 9:45 to take her outside this morning. Usually, she is performing the "Go Outside Rumba" on my head by 6:30.

Now I feel bad about not doing anything all day. It is more the fact that you all know that I haven't done anything, more than I am shamed by my own lack of motivation.

I think I will peel myself out of bed and throw the old sheets in the washer. That will allow me to do two things; I can assuage my conscience by thinking that I am getting something done, and I can lie back down almost immediately.