Camera Free Since July 3!

This will be fast and dirty because my friend Scooter (also fast and dirty) has my camera.

I am not a begrudger, I am not being hateful, but I am absolutely DYING to post pictures of my new window treatments, and since Scooter still has my camera, I am waiting, not so patiently.

I can go weeks without using it, so I had no problem lending it to him, as long as he promised not to take naughty pictures, as I will be the one downloading them. He agreed to abide by the rules.

Now, I know where he lives, but it is really, really far away, plus it is fun to harass him about it.

So, Scooter, if you are reading this, please put my camera in your man-bag and bring it on back to me! I will only keep it a day, then you can have it again. I expect a truly stunning photo documentary from him when all is said and done...

Watch this space!

Twice in Two Days!

Try not to get excited, dear reader. The fact that I am going to post two days in a row is not a renewal of my earlier pledge. I think we have proven that I will not be able to maintain this torrid pace.

I do have more cake pictures to share, so I thought I would put them out there.

This cake was made for my friend the Mangler. Her birthday was June 22nd, and she requested a yellow cake with chocolate icing. She even said I could use the frosting out of a can. A CAN, people! Heresy!

I ended up making her a yellow cake with chocolate frosting, but, being me, I couldn't leave well enough alone. I ended up making a really yummy chocolate frosting. It is basically a fluffy ganache. The Mangler doesn't like super sweet icings, and this one is a bit lighter than the standard buttercream.

Naturally, I couldn't leave well enough alone and just write "Happy Birthday Mangler" on the cake. So dull, so trite! I ended up trying the Frozen Buttercream Transfer (hereafter referred to as FBCT) process that went so horribly awry on the Lizard's Elvis cake. No, I don't learn from my mistakes. I just keep right on making them.

The FBCT process sounds complicated, but is pretty easy, if time consuming. It is a way to get a more complicated picture on a cake without having to draw it freehand. Super if you want to put a character on a cake, or match the napkins for a party, or whatever.

Basically, you take an image and reverse it, then tape it down to something that is sturdy and will fit in the freezer (that is where the "frozen" part comes in). In this case, I took the picture that I wanted, and taped it to the window, then traced over it. This gave me an exact copy, so I flipped my tracing over, taped it to the window again and copied over the lines, giving me my mirror image. Ordinarily, this type of image manipulation is best done on a computer, but I was lazy, and have old fashioned tendencies anyway. Plus, it really freaked out my neighbors.

I then taped my mirror image onto a circle of cardboard and covered the whole thing with waxed paper. I should buy stock in 3M. I don't know anyone else who could run through this much tape baking a cake.

Once I had my circle of fun, I began piping white icing in the appropriate areas of the image. I was lucky in that the image only required three colors. Once I was done with the white, I put the cardboard in the freezer and wandered off to do something else.

Recalled to my duties (I know, I know, I said "duty", but this is the Mangler's cake, so it works), I pulled the circle out of the freezer, and added the medium color in the appropriate spots and shoved it back in the freezer. One more round trip to add the dark color, and I was done!

After I pulled the final image out of the freezer, I peeled the waxed paper off of the cardboard, and peeked under to see what would be the top of my design. I was looking for holes or light spots, found a few and slathered more icing. Back in the freezer until it was cake time.

I had previously torted and iced the Mangler's cake, knowing that I wanted to slap my image on the top, then add a border.

I placed my hand (my freshly washed, super-sanitary hand) on the top/back of the image and flipped it over (cardboard up). I then was able to take off the cardboard, leaving me with a handful of icing covered in waxed paper. I gently centered my icing disk onto the cake and removed my hand.

Now for the tricky part; removing the waxed paper. This is where Elvis had refused to leave the building on my earlier attempt. I took a moment, quieted my mind and entered a zen-like state. I would like to tell you that I grabbed one corner and peeled that sucker off like someone pulling the tablecloth out from under a place setting for 12. What actually happened was that I grabbed one corner with extreme trepidation and tugged oh so gingerly and watched with startled amazement as it pulled free with no impediment. I do wish I had done it with a bit more flair, though. Maybe next time.

To make a long, boring post even longer, I managed to add a border around the top and bottom of the cake and pack it up for delivery.

I took it to the restaurant where we were celebrating the Mangler's birthday. I almost had a stroke when one of the servers started to walk out with it, to cut it, before anyone had even SEEN it. Mercifully, my agitated shrieking stayed his course, and we were all able to stare down at it's unmolested state.

So, here it is.

For those of you not from Louisiana, this is the "eye of the tiger" that LSU paints in the center of their football field. The Mangler is a huge LSU fan. (The colors are purple and gold, but the restaurant was quite dark.)

Hope the pics are worth the 73 pages of rambling prose!

Aloha, Mistress Badtrip

My friend, Mistress Badtrip, is moving to Hawaii. I know, I know, what a hardship.

Fortunately, she was to attend one last meeting here in Atlanta before flying off to live perched on the side of some volcanic vomit in the middle of NOTHING.

I can hear you asking, 'Why is she called "Mistress Badtrip"?' The story shall not pass my lips, but I can tell you that she earned it once and lives up to it on an almost daily basis.

I picked up MBT on Friday night, and we met some Atlanta friends for dinner at Shaun's. Let me just say, oh, my, god. So good! There was a watermelon and goat cheese salad with a balsamic vinaigrette on a bed of microgreens that made me practically stab the Lizard in the hand. The frites part of my steak frites were fried in duck fat (?!?!!!!) and were OUTSTANDING. My mouth is watering a little while I am typing this. I am looking for an excuse to go back again, so drop me a line...

Naturally, MBT and I went shopping and then met up with some of her coworkers at JCT Kitchen. They were looking for "Southern food", so I took them there and force fed them collard greens and some of the best fried chicken I have ever had! The service was a bit iffy (they seemed short of bus staff), but the food was delicious. I had herb roasted chicken, served over roasted fingerling potatoes with roasted dates. It was a fabulous combination of sweet and savory. The true star was the dessert that I ordered; gingerbread bread pudding served with a scoop of lemon curd ice cream. I almost cried when my plate was empty. I am toying with how to do the gingerbread bread pudding in my mind. Hopefully, the recipe will spring from my head fully formed.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea; we did do things other than stuff our gullets. We managed to carve out a few hours to waddle over to the new World of Coke. It opened about a month ago, to reports that they spent almost $100 million on the facility. I have to say that I never thought I would spend almost three hours in a product "museum", and that I seem to like the Central/South American Coke products the best.

I cooked dinner for 10 on Sunday night, and managed to burn my fingers pretty severely. I have completely recovered, but I was wearing latex gloves with aloe gel squirted into the fingers for several days. It looked peculiar, and my hands got amazingly pruny and white (think bloated corpse pulled from a body of water).

Fortunately, I had finished MBT's cake prior to the incident. I don't think I could have done the work with burned fingers.

Here they are:

















I have long been fascinated by the Barbie doll cakes, and was looking for any excuse to make one. When MBT requested a chocolate cake, I had a flash of brilliance.

The skirt was baked in a small mixing bowl and one "normal" layer.

I trimmed the layer to match the edge of the bowl cake and iced.

The doll is not really a whole doll, just a torso on a stick. Totally disturbing.

I made a bunch of the royal icing flowers (similar to weird blue/purple ones in an earlier post), but on a much smaller scale. Each flower on the cake is smaller than the end of a pencil eraser. I also wrote "aloha" and MBT's name in royal icing about 10 times. I broke most of them, trying to pick them up, but did end up with one good "aloha" for her hands.

Please note that I am not posting the pictures of the fight over the doll stick thing, or the subsequent icing licking.

It's ALIVE!

OK, people, take a pill.

Yes, I failed miserably with my "post a day for 30 days". Even allowing for weekends, it wasn't much. However, I had no idea that my friends were unable to understand the concept of "30 days".

While no "Contract with America", my attempt at daily bloggery was both reasonable and finite. The fact that I am still expected to maintain a breakneck pace that I never actually achieved or sustained, seems somewhat unfair.

I do have some juicy news to report, and additional cake pictures to share. The cake pictures are not in my camera, but someone else's. When I get them, I will gladly post my pictures for a hamburger today.

Speaking of hamburgers, I went to Ted's for lunch today, and I ate too much. The sun coming through my window is compounding the soporific effect of a hamburger the size of my head.

While we are on the subject of Ted's, I know that they all green and eco-friendly, but can I tell you how much I hate waxed paper straws? They work for about the first 15 minutes, and then they soften up, and the next thing you know, you have sucked your eyeballs into your nasal cavity because it slamed shut mid-suck. That kind of rapid change in cranial pressure is no good, no good at all. Yay for you for having no plastics in the restaurant, boo for my eyeballs.

How about twice a week? Will that work for you, you vultures?

Cheerios, Ensure and Phone Calls after Midnight

My grandfather passed away last night, after 8 pm PST.

Oddly enough, it was exactly two months after the first frantic phone call, saying that he only had hours or days to live.

I know he had survived the last two months on Cheerios and sips of Ensure. It wasn't enough to help him, just enough to keep him alive. He suffered, but the body clings to life, in the face of insurmountable odds.

The last two months have been difficult, trying to get updates, and wrestling with feelings of guilt for staying in Atlanta, and not flying home to San Diego. I would like to thank my friends and family for their support and offers of assistance. You are great people, in spite of your lamentable lack of taste in friends.

I am going to go home now, and try to get some sleep.

Please no more late night phone calls for a while...

All Dairy, All the Time

Since the "making my own butter" thing went over so well, I thought I would confess my most recent experiment in the Dairy Arts.

I have been making homemade ice cream.

Now, since you can buy ice cream at the store, just like you can buy butter at the store, I am expecting the same hailstorm of derision that accompanied my last confession.

Before you can put fingers to keyboard, let me just tell you that it was good, good, GOOD!

I started with a lemon ice cream, made to accompany the Elvis cake for the Lizard's birthday. I actually liked the ice cream way more than the cake. It was very tart, yet creamy. Lizard said it tasted like the middle of a lemon meringue pie. I don't know if that is a good thing, since you can buy that crap in a can for $1.50 at the grocery store, but I thought it was yummy.

I also made some banana-coconut ice cream this weekend, as a thank you for taking me to pick up my car, after the brake light fiasco (brake lights wouldn't go off, drained the battery, just what I need in the morning). I haven't heard from him, but the unfrozen portion was pretty good, but more banana-y than coconut-y, if that makes sense.

Finally, I made some cassis sorbet yesterday. It was delicious. I can't tell you what it reminded me of, or Lizard will start yapping about pictures from the place that starts with an eff and ends with "rance". It was quite light and refreshing, after the artery clogging, but creamy, earlier versions.

3 flavors down, at least 28 to go!

Where has the time gone?

I can't believe it has been a month since my last post.

If you had tracked me down in a dark alley, shoved a gun up my nose, and demanded the length of time since my last post, I would have sworn it was two weeks, tops.

Guess it is a good thing I don't hang out with gun enthusiasts. Or in dark alleys, for that matter.

Updates:

My grandfather is still hanging on. No new news. He is still under hospice care, still not eating much.

I did manage to put together an Elvis cake for my friend Lizard. It didn't turn out exactly as hoped, but that can be a whole other post.

I still haven't heard anything from Oklahoma, but we are expecting something from them early next week. Let's wait until the tornado season really gets into full swing!

We were in Boston last weekend, also for the aforementioned Lizard birthday. It rained the whole time we were there, there was a postponed baseball game and some bad scallops. Other than that, it was super!

Sweet Georgia Brown Dog and I don't have a lot of plans for this weekend. I ran out for brunch and a movie today, while she held down the sofa, under the ceiling fan. We will probably run out tomorrow for errands and a furniture auction. She comes along in her little sack. I look like a lunatic with a dog in a bag, but she seems to like it.

I think I have posted some pictures on my mobile blog, the address is: http://edacious-j-mobile.blogspot.com/

More later, and again, my humble apologies for stringing my reader along.

eJ

Oklahoma, O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A, Oklahoma, OK!

Well, it was bound to happen eventually.

Someone has finally agreed to accept one of my many Request For Proposal (RFP) responses, and now I am moving forward to the next step.

Basically, what has happened is that I sent a response to a request that they wrote, addressing their concerns and requirements. It was due on the 10th of this month, and they required 11 copies, so apparently, there was a large group of folks reading my persuasive prose.

They called us this morning to indicate that they would like to enter the next phase of the procurement process (sounds naughty, doesn't it?), which would be to have the City Council vote on our proposal. The City Council will convene on May 8th. If they approve it (the procurement folks make the recommendations, so I don't know that any of them will read the proposal. Rather, I think they just take the purchasing folks' word for it), then we can begin "negotiations". We made a really great price offer, so I am not sure exactly what this process will entail, but we have to get through it in order to be officially awarded the contract.

This contract represents 1.1 million units of the stuff that my company handles, so that is almost 15% of our annual quota. Yay!

I am not taking my group out to lunch yet, that will be when the contract is officially awarded, but this is a positive step. They didn't tell us no...

Now I am humming "Oklahoma". I will see if I can change the words around a bit and come up with something apropos to the situation.

Woo hoo!

Another Update on my Grandfather

First of all, let me say thank you to all of my friends that have been so helpful and supportive during this strange time.

My grandfather is still alive, in spite of all medical expectations. He is under hospice care, and still at his regular nursing home. He is bedridden, and unable to feed himself or focus on things like books or television.

He is eating a small bit, and his kidney function appears to have improved slightly. This weekend, I heard he ate a thing of tapioca pudding and 6-10 Cheerios. Clearly, this is not enough food to sustain him.

The hospice doctor is supposed to check in on him later in the week. I hope to have more information then.

His living will states that no "heroic measures" be taken, to extend his life. This means no feeding tube, although he is still on a cocktail of medications, including blood thinners and diuretics, and oxygen via a nose cord thing.

It has been almost 2 weeks since I got the phone call that he had had a second heart attack and was not expected to live. His prognosis at that time was 3-5 days. I am horribly conflicted, as I don't want him to suffer, but at the same time, can't bring myself to say, out loud or in writing, that I wish he would pass away. He has no quality of life, to my eyes. I know that I would not want to be in that situation.

This has been a rough couple of weeks. I haven't been sleeping well, and that is adding to the emotional toll.

Again, thanks to my friends and family. I know that I have been even more lachrymose than usual, and I appreciate your tolerance and support.

Remain Calm! All is well!

Sheesh, people!

First I get the circling of sharks for a piece of red velvet cake, then the picking about daily posts, then FedEx requests for cake, now someone wants to know if the butter is homemade and when are we getting homemade ice cream???

I think I have created a small horde of monsters.

First of all, the cake is gone, but not forgotten. I actually feel a little sick, as it was super rich. The icing alone was enough to send most of Gwinnett County into a sugar coma. I am pretty sure that I singlehandedly slowed our corporate production this afternoon. First, there was a cake line, second, consumption of said cake, and finally, the contented snores of the comatose. Yay for me! Here is a picture of it, prior to the swarm of locusts.

Item the second: I am posting now. Sigh.

Third: There is no way I am mailing a cake to you, Baroness von Pinkenevil (don't think that you can remain "Anonymous" with your snarky comments). I am including a picture that I found online from a woman who did FedEx a cake (and paid over $90 to do so!).

Apparently, it was an airplane. I can kind of see that. Anyway, this is Exhibit A for why I am not mailing you a cake.

Finally, regarding the dairy items, laugh it up, you jackals! I did think about making my next buttercream icing from my own butter, and I am now officially jonesing for the ice cream maker attachment for my KitchenAid mixer. Those who make snide remarks will not be invited to the party. Which brings me to my next item:

Anonymous comments....grrrr.....

I might not know who you are now, but I will find you. The Baroness tipped her hand today, and I will eventually track you down via your own lamentable grammar, stunted vocabulary or rudimentary typing skills. Sure the Internet is a great big place, sure it is fun to taunt your friend without fear of recrimination, but know this: I will find you.